Martha,
Best of luck to ya dear. Like I said earlier. You seem to have it
together and I know you will do what's best for you and make the
right choices.
One thing about that little voice......It can be your best friend
and it will never let you down if you trust and do the right
thing......at least that is what momma always told me....lol She's
been right so far and I am 40 years old.
Hang in there kiddo....
Becky
--- In depression-anxiety@
<martha51986@
>
>
> thanks for your reply. I like your ideas. I have found that I have
> to listen to my 'intuition' when deciding to approach a guy, when
I
> don't listen, I have been hurt. The 'little voice' really is there
> for a reason, I guess.
> --- In depression-anxiety@
> wrote:
> >
> > Hi Martha,
> > i've been the smart quiet girl my whole life.. here's a few
things
> i'm
> > learning now while trying to step outside that:
> >
> > Firstly.. (and this is meant in a comical tone - not a mean tone)
> > of COURSE these people dont care about you.... they dont even
KNOW
> you
> > yet! how can you expect them to care if they have never spoken
to
> you or
> > dont know anything personal about you? i didnt realize i wasn't
> giving
> > people a chance to know me just because i was quiet... but what i
> > learned from others is that the quiet, serious attitude i had
> actually
> > intimidated people - i was causing them to avoid me.
> >
> > imagine that...a 5'2" 130lb woman who's a big kid at heart being
> > intimidating?
> > seems silly...but i guess it was true... i had a lot of walls
up.
> i've
> > noticed when i open up - everyone around me opens up too. People
> > approach me and seem to notice me (perhaps cuz i am noticing
them
> too?)
> > and when i am genuine and just ME, people respond more and i
also
> feel
> > more comfortable to respond to them too. A quiet attitude i
think
> makes
> > other people feel pressure to lead a conversation, or maybe
> unsure of
> > how to even approach you.. so they are simply more likely to go
> > elsewhere to interact.. that's human.. its not a personal
> avoidance of
> > Martha in any way.
> >
> > i think when we're depressed and feeling alone, we forget to see
> that
> > everyone else out there is scared too - and they have the same
> kind of
> > vulnerabilities and insecurities as us. just think about the
> people that
> > you are more likely to interact with - and start noticing why.
> they are
> > probly giving you some sort of hint that they consider you an
> > interesting person. you've gotta give others that feeling too,
in
> small
> > subtle ways. laugh, smile, eye contact..
> >
> > I know what you mean about being in a place mentally/emotionall
> where
> > you dont feel capable of talking to guys or even smiling. there's
> > certainly no reason to push yourself when you aren't
> comfortable.
> > still totally avoiding people a lot of the time. but in a moment
> when
> > you feel strong enough... try little things to test yourself and
> > others... because the truth is that we're probably never gonna be
> > totally "ready" to take a chance and let change in... and
> sometimes the
> > only way to change our mindset about these things is to just put
> > ourselves out there - even if only a little - and see what
> happens. and
> > a small bit at a time we will grow. =)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In depression-anxiety@
> > <martha51986@
> > >
> > > So, what does everyone do when they don't care anymore? I am
> caring
> > > for two elderly parents, and working full-time, and fighting
> > > depression which is partly from my thyroid condition, and
partly
> > > chronic depression. There are a couple of males who are
friends
> of my
> > > dad who will help me and my mom with him, as he uses a walker
> and it
> > > is difficult to get him to appointments. My boss at work
ignores
> me,
> > > he comes in at 10:30 in the morning, and talks to the
secretary
> and
> > > not to me. He refuses to get a new printer, though it has not
> worked
> > > properly for over a year. I am tired of being so alone at
work.
> I am
> > > a musician also, and that is one of the only things that keeps
me
> > > going. Otherwise, I would find a way to end it all. I can't
deal
> with
> > > always being on the losing end of relationships; I want to
know,
> WHY
> > > do the girls who have no personality of their own, end up with
> the
> > > guy? Granted, the guy they are with is a self-centered jerk,
but
> > > still. Why do guys not go out with smart, quiet women, like
> myself? I
> > > am not ugly, guys check out my looks all the time. But that
> doesn't
> > > mean anything, they are just looking, they don't care about
me.
> ARE
> > > THERE any relationships that are truly equal with males and
> females?
> > > Or is everyone in some goddamn co-dependant relationship where
> > > everyone likes one person better and the other person is self-
> > > centered and is being chased and admired but can't give
anything
> in
> > > the relationship?
> > >
> >
>
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