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Jumat, 11 Januari 2008

Re: [ACWDYG ] Newbie-Petala

thanks for your post.

Petala Steele <steelepetala@yahoo.com> wrote: My name is Petala Steele. I have the BEST DH in the world and two
good sons. I normally lurk, however, when I have time I will post
things that I hope are helpful to others. I read a lot of positive
material on a daily basis as well as CDS and so forth. Hopefully if I
can post some of them here as time allows, perhaps it will help
someone.

I am a retired Investigator after 20 years in law and the private
sector of investigations. I do not drink or do drugs and like to
think my only addictions are a jealous obsession with my loving
husband (grins) and chocolate! I am ADHD and do not allow that to be
used as an excuse for my bad habits of interrupting or acting without
thinking. I come from an addictive family and have fought against a
way of life that easily could have been alcohol and drugs if I had
CHOSEN to follow that path. I suffered from anorexia, bulimia and
self mutilation for years and hid it. I have conquered those things
except for the body image part. Still deal with that problem when I
look in the mirror.

Change does NOT come easily...often good things never do. It is
something I work on DAILY...at every moment, it seems at times. I do
not always win yet there is always another day to make the effort.

Seriously, I have fought with OCD for years and after 13 years of
fibromyalgia, I am prescription drug-free and my pain is under
control via the use of meditation and affirmations for the last four
years.

I have had to rebuild my life from childhood to adult and still have
a long ways to go after being sexually abused by my brother as a child
(murdered for his insurance by his wife) and other family members as
a child, a critically controlling mother who denied the abuse of me
and two other female cousins-mom is now in a nursing home and still
making efforts to control from there, grew up in a very negative
family who loved drama and still deal with a negative cousin and Aunt
almost daily. (if I ever can afford a fence, I might can do something
to help that situation too..lol)

I work constantly on a GOOD AND POSITIVE self image. I owe the
current transformations of the last three years to my husband,
retired military intelligence in the army-he was a hypnotist. My
husband was raised in a different type of family from mine-Leave it
To Beaver should be enough said. Where I was raised with the
Hatfields and McCoys who hid under disguise as the Cleaver family on
Sundays and to others.

I wish I had listened to my husband from the start and took his
advice on meditation and affirmations and eliminating negative people
from my life sooner. It was only after meds stopped working on OCD a
few years back, did I just stop taking anything for pain or anxiety
and start to recover my life. Everyone can't do this yet it worked
for me.

I listen daily and nightly to meditation and affirmation CDS from
Wendi Frisson, Victoria Wizzell and Trevor Scott on every subject
from releasing pain and illness, living an anxiety and stress free
life, becoming more positive, going back into a childhood regression,
karma of kindness, deep sleep healing states, etc...and I do mean I
have a TON of these and THEY WORK! Sometimes I get really angry or
annoyed at the CD, when I hear one I don't like and may have to put
it away for a week and then resume it again later. The subconscious
does not always want to hear the truth. I had a really difficult time
getting thru the self-esteem workshop CDS. I finally made it thru and
it was worth it! Now I enjoy them. Sometimes I let my husband
hypnotize me instead of the CDS as he has a very soothing voice.
Visualizations are good and help, too.

I read positive eye opening books from Dr. Phil and Larry Winget and
the Bible, at times. I read Khalil Gibran to make me remember what
real love and words mean. I belong to the site called beliefnet.com
where there are numerous free affirmations, visualizations videos,
and CDS for all kinds of subjects.

Sorry this is so long. I want everyone to know that you can change
your life and image to a more positive one, not in a second or a
moment as some would suggest. Just bit by bit, day by day, momemt to
moment. It is a daily grind at times when you have to remember to
work on it over and over and not let it slide. Mess up, just catch
yourself and start over again. It's just NOT an easy thing to change,
this self-image or any problem.

I also believe in the power of CHOICE and not blame, mistakes, or
irresponsibility. The fact is everything we do in life is the result
or consequence, good or bad, from the power of CHOICE. I can't stand
to hear someone on TV say: Oh I didn't have a choice. I hear that a
lot in movies. YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE! It might be a bad one or not so
good one but you ALWAYS have a choice....media..mmmnnn..not always a
good thing to listen to, huh.

Believe in yourself when no one else does...look in the mirror EVERY
morning and find 5 good things to say about yourself. Even if it's
only:

I like my hair color.
I like my eye color.
I like to help others.
I am healthy.
I have a pretty smile.

The more you do this, the more you will come to believe in yourself
and find good instead of negative. Write these 5 things down on a
peice of paper after you say them and drop each one, on a separate
peice of paper, into a small jar. Keep it near the mirror. Re-read
them when the jar gets full and see how many you came up with that
were positive! You will be surprised.

Negative words? Even I still slip up on them and have to constantly
re-read my posts to make sure one didn't just slide right in from
habit.

Nice meeting all of you and hope there is no one here that judges
others and how they act/react to their life. It's a long hard path
and everyone needs friends along the path of life and love.

I refuse to stay at groups that allow flaming or personal attacks
because it is negative. I have been searching for a good affirmations
and positive group to post at so I hope I have found that in this one.

Hugs,
Petala Steele

---------------------------------
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